Mini Rant

School. Specifically primary school. Kiss and Drive.

It serves a purpose, people, don't mess with it. Don't be selfish bastards who block up the entire suburb because you are too fucking pathetically lazy to get out of your car, or park further away, or... or... arrive later?

Oh, that brings me to stupid. Don't be stupid. The siren goes off at 2:50pm. Why do at least 10 massive 4WD-driving parents have to show up 10 minutes early and block off the entire kiss and drive area. And not move until 3:10 if that's when your kidlet shows up?

Society is selfish. Very, very, very selfish. People simply don't give a fuck about other people, and it breaks my heart (and does wonders for my pedestal). How do you spell "pedestal", by the way, that looks right, and yet so wrong, all in one word.

It's quite simple, the whole concept of the whole kiss and drive. You pull into one of the 6 designated bays, you have approximately 1 minute to attempt to identify your child (and I admit this can be tough, given they are all dressed identically), and if you don't see your child, you pull out, drive around the block and get back in line.

This is fair. This is democratic. This is first-in-best-dressed. This is the only way it can work without causing gridlock for 3km in either direction. DON'T be the wanker who decides to sit there for 10 minutes and wait because you are too fucking lazy to put your automatic Lexus 4WD into D and spend 45 seconds driving around the teeny-tiny block. Have a heart for those of us who are racing from work at top speed attempting to collect our Small People before school admin call DOCS on us. If your child is not there, MOVE FUCKING ON!

And while I'm at it, a word to the parents of younger children who park, then wait outside the classroom. I used to be you. I get it. It's annoying that for a school of 600 Small People there are only 50 parallel streetside parking spots. But please, do you REALLY need to leave 3 metres in front and back of your car so you can easily pull out? Once again I beg you to have a heart. If you leave a space in front and back just large enough that another car can't quite squeeze in, you really don't have the right to object when I encourage my children to throw mud at your car on our way to the parking space I found in the next suburb. No, you don't.

It's actually possible to parallel park in a manner that will allow the maximum possible number of parents to fit in a limited space. It's possible to park in a manner that actually takes into consideration the amount of space you are taking up versus the needs of other parents.

Oh, and while I'm still ranting, you total and utter morons who park across the entire footpath? I hope you rot in hell. Do you not realise that kids ride bikes to school, and some parents have to push baby-siblings in prams to get to the classroom? Are you so fucking lazy that your only option was to park somewhere you blocked the entire footpath thus denying children and pram-pushing parents their divine-given right to move safely?

I realise, obviously, that there are families with special needs. I was one of them, FFS. I tore all the ligaments in my ankle, and still had to deliver kidlets to classrooms and so forth. I quite simply went to the office and explained my need and got special permission to use the disabled spot for X weeks as needed.

It's not rocket science, people; it's quite simply common courtesy.

Is this a lost art? I fear it is.

STxxx