Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Bridezilla or Mamazilla?

On a parenting forum I regularly frequent a common issue has reared its contraversial head yet again today; Kids At Weddings, yay or nay? Views on this issue seem to be quite equally divided into 2 camps:

It's their day, so bride and groom can impose any rules they want; and

I don't leave my kids with sitters if I can help it, so I should be able to take them with me.

I tend to fall somewhere in the middle. I think any bride and groom with half a heart would accommodate the needs of guests with a very young, possibly exclusively breastfed baby. As for older kids, especially once they get to the age where the reception venue will be charging for them, then I suppose it's totally reasonable (and often preferable) to exclude kids.

There are, of course, exceptions. If, for example, a family flies interstate to attend a wedding, is it reasonable to expect them to hire an unknown babysitter for the event? I say no, but that's just my opinion, of course! I guess my take on it is, if you are close enough to a family to want them to share such a special day with you, then you take them warts (or kids) and all.

This is only one raging wedding issue. How about wishing wells? I hate them passionately, and if there's one thing I hate more than wishing wells then it would be the cutesy poems people include with invitations explaining why they have chosen this gift option. Example:

We hope that you will not be miffed
If we ask you not to buy a gift
You see we have already filled our home
We even have a garden gnome!

But there is one thing that we would like
To tell the landlord to take a hike
We’ve been saving hard to buy a house
But if you could help it would be grouse.

There is no need to rob the banks
Any amount will be greeted with thanks
So help us grow our money tree
And spare yourself the shopping spree!

Now, don't get me wrong. I get the concept. It's definitely practical. Most couples have lived together and have all the necessary household gadgets, but I quite simply can't get my head around asking for cash, no matter how quaintly worded.

I have attended many weddings (and planned many more) which have gone with wishing wells, and I know the vast majority of people aren't offended at all. I have no problem with donating to a wishing well myself, if that's what the bride and groom prefer, but it's just so generic and impersonal, in my opinion. I miss the pleasure of picking out a gift personally, and thinking of the bride and groom possibly using that gift 20 years in the future and thinking of me.

Even though I'm now divorced, I still have wedding gifts around the house, and I truly do fondly remember who gave me what, and wonder what they're up to these days if we're not in touch.

Maybe I'm just too much of a sentimental old-fashioned gal at heart, I don't know.



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