Tuesday, August 4, 2009

RIP SG Atlantis

That's it. Stargate Atlantis Season 5 bought and watched.

Last. Season. Ever.

In my desperate search for new and untapped sources of sci-fi joy (and taking advantage of local retailer's desperate need to offload extra copies of pure shit) I purchased the Entire Series Collection of a little something called "Surface" last night. I also watched it last night. All of it. All 15 episodes of some of the worst acting I've ever seen in my life. I couldn't stop. OK, so I had extreme insomnia brought on by unwise use of antihystamines before bed, but that's just no excuse.

I'm a sucker for an edge-of-your-seat action type flick, but really, how many times in a row can these dudes face total and utter DEATH and DOOM and survive, only to do it again 2 and a half scenes later?

And how intensely annoying were the young bloke's non-involved parents? And how god-awful were the intense stares into the horizon as camera pans across... anything? Harsh, possibly, and the fact that I did sit through 15 episodes in one sitting says volumes about my poor taste anyway.

I found myself feeling sorry for the entire-fishing-boat-gobbling-in-one-big-gulp, human-engineered, ocean-going monsters and kind of hoping they'd come out the winners in the end.

Which they did.

YAY MONSTERS! Sadly, most of the actors guilty of worst acting in the history of acting also survived, and there isn't even going to be a season 2 in which they can get picked off one by one sneakily by sea monsters posing as... well, anything and it doesn't matter anyway.

These monsters lived in magma (must be said a la Dr. Evil for maximum effect), FFS. And then the ocean. And some teenaged boy's bed. Surely there's something wrong with this picture.

Who does that? Scary thing is, as I googled madly for a little image to go with this post, I found links to page after page claiming this is the Best SciFi Series Ever Made. Go figure. Maybe I'm the one with the problem.

So bring on the next reeeeeeeeeeeee-ally badly done sci-fi series which never made it past one season. I'm ready!

Oh, and if you don't hurry up making that rumoured Stargate Atlantis follow-up movie, then I will be most sad.



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